How To Raise Grateful Child: 21 Proven Tips For All Ages

Are you wondering how on earth to raise grateful kids? A child who doesn’t take their privilege for granted? Of course, this is easier said than done – especially when you are faced with a stubborn toddler or an indifferent teenager!

The team at My Toddler Life are a group of parenting experts who have lived experience with all things raising children. We have team members from all walks of life, with grateful children of all different ages who share their knowledge and experience with you below.

So, next time your toddler is shouting at you because you gave them exactly what they asked for (ha!), give some of these grateful tips a go:

How To Raise A Grateful Child?

Raising a grateful child is one of those lofty, wishy-washy goals we set when we get pregnant – but when the time comes to teach gratefulness, it’s easier said than done. To get started with raising a grateful child, set an example, teach them ‘thank you’ and get them involve with household chores.

Based off expert research and the My Toddler Life team experience raising children – see our list of 21 proven tips for all ages below:

How Can I Teach My Toddler To Be Grateful?

Good things comes to those who wait, and while it can seem impossible that you will end up with a grateful child while he or she is screaming down the supermarket aisle because they got a blue lollipop instead of a pink one – these tips below have worked for our team, and we hope they will work for you too! 

1. Set an example: We all know that our toddlers absorb every little thing we say and do (hello naughty words) – so the first step in teaching your toddler to be grateful should be to set a really good example on a regular basis. Monkey see, monkey do – even for the little things! Get older kids in the family involved in setting a good example too.
2. Thank You: It probably doesn’t need to be said – and you’ve more than likely already done this, however – do not forget to remind your toddler of the pleases and thank yous. It is a habit that needs to stick for life, and will make your toddler a much more likeable adult to boot!
3. Bedtime Gratitude: As a part of our editor Emily’s children’s bedtime routines, they each have to say out loud, three things that they are grateful for that day. It is a really fun and rewarding activity for not only them, but for you to model gratitude too! 
4. Other Families: To help your toddler understand the concept of gratefulness, it can be helpful to open their eyes to the concept of homelessness and hunger. Without wanting to scare the toddler, sit down and explain to them that some people aren’t lucky enough to have a big kid bed, a fridge full of food or even (gasp!) a TV. This can really increase gratefulness for the things they DO have and the simple ways in that they get what they need daily. 
5. Gift giving: Get your toddler to understand the concept of gift giving – and not just for Christmas or Birthdays. When someone does something nice for them – a teacher, sibling, friend – get them to draw a picture for them and gift it to them – it will feel really nice for not only the recipient – but for your toddler too.  Get older children to be good role models by participating as well.
6. Gratitude jar: Similar to the bedtime gratitude routine, have a family gratitude jar and get each member to write down what they were most grateful for that day and pop the note in the jar. When times are hard, or anyone is down – crack open the gratitude jar for a smile.  Good habits over time will increase that child’s gratefullness for sure!
7. Household chores: Getting your toddler involved in household chores such as sweeping and wiping down tables can really help them develop an understanding of the work that goes in to running a household. Although it seems like a game to them now, they really develop a sense of ownership over these chores (my cloth! My spray!). 

How Can I Help My Child (5-12 years of age) Be More Grateful?

It can seem impossible that you will end up with a grateful child while he or she is refusing to eat their school lunch because it’s not “cool” – but these tips below have worked for our team, and we hope they will work for you too! 

1. Point It Out: A simple, and free way to teach your child gratefulness is to start pointing out other peoples generosity. When they notice you noticing – they become more willing to be generous for want of your acknowledgement (how meta!)
2. Gratitude Questions: In this age bracket, your child has a much better understanding of what gratitude is and how to be grateful or not. A brilliant way to get them thinking on the topic more is having a bank of gratitude questions to ask them in quieter moments. E.g:
   1. What happened today that you are grateful for
   2. Which of your friends are you most grateful for
   3. What are you grateful is no longer in your life
3. Values: Children at school-age should have a better understanding of what values you and your family live by. Take some time to sit down and talk to your child about what each of these values (e.g respect, trust, honesty) means to you – it is a great way to encourage gratefulness. 
4. Family member challenge: A family gratitude challenge is a fun one – if you can get everyone on board. Make it as long as you think suits your family. See below for our 7-Day My Toddler Life Family Gratitude Challenge
5. Acts of kindness: Take your child out on the weekend or after school and participate in some random acts of kindness – open a door for a stranger – help a younger child cross the road – carry an elderly persons bag to the car. It will make your day, and the strangers – and maybe your childs too! 
6. Responsibility: Having a sense of responsibility is a great way to get your child to have an increased sense of gratefulness. Whether it is responsibility for a certain household chore (i.e setting the dinner table each night), getting ready by a certain time – or even responsibility for a pet- it can help them to understand how much you do for them every day.  
7. Less fortunate people: To help your child understand the concept of gratefulness, it can be helpful to open their eyes to the concept of homelessness and hunger. Without wanting to worry or panic your child, sit down and explain to them that some people aren’t lucky enough to have material things like a big kid bed, a fridge full of food or even (gasp!) a TV. Make it as simple or complex as needs be for their age and level or understanding. This can really increase gratefulness for the things they DO have access to on a daily basis. 

How To Get My Teenager To Be Grateful?

We live in an entitled world, and it can seem impossible that you will end up with a grateful child while he or she is screaming at you every time you ask them to do what they are meant to be doing – but these tips below have worked for our team, and we hope they will work for you too! 

1. Gratitude Journal: Start your teennagers journey to being more grateful by giving them a gift – a beautiful gratitude journal to write in daily. Explain how you have your own gratitude journal and you write in it every day – and that it is a great way to make you happy when you are down. If you think a journal is a bit “dear diary” for your teenager – there are lots of apps out there that offer the same idea – just chose whatever the best way is for your teenager.  A gratitude journal can also be used at a young age – whenever you think your child is willing and open to the idea
2. Household Responsibility: At this age, one of the great ideas to improve your child’s sense of gratitude is to get your teenager more involved in running the household. Whether this is cooking dinner sometimes, doing the grocery shopping – or washing the car – getting your teenager to help (unpaid!) with household chores is a really great way to teach gratitude for all that you do for them.
3. Volunteer: At this age, your teenager is old enough to participate in a volunteer program. Whether a regular activity, or something done once a year around the holiday season, volunteering for those less fortunate is a really great, eye-opening lesson for your teenager.  If they role their eyes at the suggestion – maybe suggest a bit of screen time together or with a friend afterwards as a reward.
4. Involve them in gift giving: We all know what it’s like when it comes time to give gifts to extended family – you buy the gift, wrap it, and write everyone elses name on the card – quite often the ret of the family has no idea what they have given! A great way to improve gratefullness is to get your teenager involved in the process – set them a budget and send them to the shop (then they can see how much a new toy for their little brother actually is!). A silver lining of this one is that it will open their eyes to how much of your time and money goes into gift-giving
5. Thank you notes: After birthdays and christmas time, encourage your whole family (yes, including your surly teenager and the young children) to sit down and write thank you notes to everyone who gave them a gift  – pop them in the mail too – yes, it’s old school – but it will really help to teach your teenager that things don’t come out of thin air. And, the good news is that it will totally brighten the recipients day as well!  
6. Social media: One of the issues with social media is that it really fuels that desire for more, more, MORE – and does nothing for gratitude. Help your child to understand that social media is just a highlights reel and no one actually has EVERYTHING they want right this second – not even that best friend they are so jealous of.  
7. Go without challenge: This one is a tough one and I would encourage you to get the whole family on board and not just your teenager. Try going out with some sort of luxury for a week or so – no TV, no hot showers, no junk food etc.  A great one to increase your kids gratitude!

Cheers to an attitude of gratitude! Go!

Why Trust My Toddler Life

My Toddler Life is run by mama’s, for mama’s. All information provided on our site is thoroughly researched and takes in to consideration our lived experiences and the opinions of industry professionals.

How are we different from other sites doing the same thing? We have fun while doing it (often with a glass of wine in hand) and don’t take ourselves too seriously! We may use affiliate links in this post – rest assured, these do not cost you, our dear readers, any additional money to use – phew!

References

• Rothenberg et al, “Grateful Parents Raising Grateful Children”, 2018 , Applied Developmental Sciences
• Childmind.org